sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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