ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
