I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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