I wanna bring you to show and tell
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
