Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
