sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
