I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
