Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
