But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
