Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
