Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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