is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
