kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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