Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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