So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
