The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
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He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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