If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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