is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
All I want is dick and wine.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
