Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
