Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize