Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
