but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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