This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
