It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
