I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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