PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
