With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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