I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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