i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
