if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
