Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
