Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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