But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
two words: eviction party
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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