I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
