he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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