Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
