She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I take back everything I said about communal showers
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
