No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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