Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
