Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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