did you get engaged???
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize