Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
