I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize