If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
is wine microwaveable?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
two words...techno handjob
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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