I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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