Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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