As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
