Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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