in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
