he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this will be a night to untag.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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