dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
