when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
