It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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