It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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