And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
