oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
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Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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