I hate your face
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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