I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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