Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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