the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
