On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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