Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
