I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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