It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
